Looking for more depth on some of the topics we’ve covered? Maybe your employees, co-workers, or members of your organization would benefit from more focused work than a blog or podcast. The topics we cover at The Manspace help men improve themselves and their relationships in ways that can translate directly into improved outcomes in work, productivity, and overall well-being. We would love to come and speak or run a workshop at your next event. Complete the contact form below to find out more about formats and pricing.
As we’ve worked to develop The Manspace workshops and resources, we’ve learned a lot about the different issues affecting men and their relationships. Because every dude’s experience is different, we could never compile a comprehensive list. Below are some topics and patterns that often come up for men. Chances are, you’ve encountered at least a few of these at some point. What we describe here is just scratching the surface. Our resources can take you deeper. Contact us to find out more.
nothing you do is good enough
Do you feel like you are constantly being criticized? Like your efforts get you nowhere? You might be totally committed to do all you can to make her happy in hopes that this time, you'll nail it. Or, you might have already thrown in the towel, convinced that nothing you do will never be enough for her. This is likely due to difficulty tolerating her being upset - it either sends you into hyper "fix-it" mode, or it's all systems down. We've learned that both paths get you nowhere quick.
Sometimes load you've been carrying suddenly crushes you. Too many demands and not enough hours in the day. You just want to disappear. Telling yourself, "it is what it is" hasn't helped. You're starting to feel the effects physically. Headaches, spare tire, no energy, weird pains you never used to have. You might feel like you have no option other than to soldier on.
Have you cheated on your partner, or have they cheated on you? Whatever the case, this is one of the most difficult things couples face. You might be struggling to do everything you can to repair things, or you might be trying to decide if it's worth fixing. You both might be going back and forth between fighting and threatening to end things one minute and then connecting like you haven't in years the next. One of you keeps asking "why?!"...the other can't explain it.
Do you feel like the only thing keeping you going is knowing you'll get to check out at some point in your day? Maybe you've developed some habits that you're hiding. You feel bad about keeping them secret, but can't see any other way to keep going. Or maybe someone you care about has discovered it and has given you an ultimatum.
You're not exactly sure why, but everything grates on your nerves. In the words of Bob Seger, "you pretend it doesn't bother you, but you just want to explode." Maybe you're able to hold it in at work, but once you get home, the ones you care about the most take the brunt. You either beat yourself up about it, further stoking the fire, or you become oblivious to it until someone you love says, "THAT'S ENOUGH!"
Are you stuck in an endless cycle of attack and retreat? Are you trying to find ways to spend the least amount of time together possible? You might be the one pushing to talk things out and getting the silent treatment. Maybe you're on the other side, being followed around the house when you try to get space. Either way, nothing is getting better and things keep escalating. You're wondering how much more of this you can take.
You used to wake up ready to attack the day. You had goals, vision, and a strong drive to get somewhere. Maybe it was gradual, maybe it was sudden, but you're just not feeling it anymore. You pushed yourself to achieve your goals and you're wondering, "what now?" Maybe you've had your head down, grinding it out for so long you didn't even realize that you were running on fumes.
Things were easy before. Sex used to leave you both feeling confident, connected, and satisfied. Now you tread lightly, if you dare tread at all. You might be walking on eggshells, trying to do everything right all day only to be rejected at night. Or you've become distant, hoping your partner doesn't touch you and expect sex. When you do manage to connect, it's functional and boring, like checking a box. This might be a new thing for you guys, or it's been an unspoken issue for years.
We can help you light the fire again. We recommend couples therapy for this issue. Click here to schedule.
Is divorce on the table? Maybe you didn't even see it coming? You know things haven't been great, but you thought things would get better. Maybe you're the one who's been thinking about it for a while and finally said something about it. This is definitely not the plan you had when you started off, but you're here now. You're either leaning in, trying all you can to save things, or leaning out, convinced this is the best thing for both of you. This is delicate situation that deserves a serious conversation.
We can help you take a look at things and make a decision you both feel more confident is right for you. We recommend a combination of individual and couples therapy for this issue. Click here to schedule.
A baby is born, you lose your job, a relationship ends, you retire, or lose someone you love. These things happen, but sometimes they really seem to mess things up and now you feel like you’re stuck. You were confident you could handle this and worked at picking yourself up. You’ve always been able to adapt, but trying to navigate this alone isn’t working anymore.
We can help you break loose and get moving again. We recommend individual therapy and potentially couples therapy, depending on how this might be affecting your relationship. Click here to schedule.
It’s good to know that you aren’t the only one stuck in a rut, the only one who’s screwed up, or the only one who can’t seem to get it right. Group therapy puts your experiences in perspective and opens options you haven’t been able to see. And we all need other guys who get it and can call us on our crap.
We’ve offer a variety of groups for men. Groups are dependent on space and availability. Click here to see current open groups.
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